


From There To Back Again

by ezra_mara



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy Hargrove-centric, M/M, billy dies but then he lives, billy surfs, billys mom is more just mentioned a few times, quality sibling content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26006209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ezra_mara/pseuds/ezra_mara
Summary: Billy doesn't get to go to the beach often. Which is stupid because he can literally see it from his room.But that kinda makes the times he could go, way better. Because his mom would pack the big picnic basket with snacks and lunch and his favorite sodas and strap two surfboards on top of her shitty Chevy. Spend the whole day at the ocean, breathing in the salty air and getting sand everywhere.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	From There To Back Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aapollon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aapollon/gifts), [trashycatarcade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashycatarcade/gifts).



> i am testing out transferring things from google docs to here so forgive me if the formatting is off
> 
> BIG big thank you to aapollon and trashycatarcade for proofreading/beta-ing this, ily!
> 
> and here is the mixtape billy and max listen to later in the fic https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6wPk7eTmaALqrvRD0KUGyW?si=b7FxfPXwRzala7iM23lQhg
> 
> title from a song by the beach boys with the same name

Billy doesn't get to go to the beach often. Which is stupid because he can literally see it from his room. 

But that kinda makes the times he could go, way better. Because his mom would pack the big picnic basket with snacks and lunch and his favorite sodas and strap two surfboards on top of her shitty Chevy. Spend the whole day at the ocean, breathing in the salty air and getting sand everywhere.

He remembers when his mom taught him how to surf. He was just a kid, barely in elementary school. Had to cling to her legs when she took them out on her board. 

Remembers the first board she bought him. Second or third hand from a little corner shop a few towns over. Slapped a bow on it and hid it in the shed for his birthday. Took him out that weekend to surf together.

When she left he almost broke it. Almost took the hatchet in the garage to it and threw the pieces into the ocean. Almost.

But it's the last piece of her he'd have.

Doesn't matter, Neil throws it out when he's at school anyway.

///

Neil starts getting more and more "aggressive" the further away from the day his mom left they get. Billy starts doing odd jobs to make money to get a new surfboard; mowing lawns, walking dogs, even babysitting. Anything to get a few dollars.

Has it all in a shoe box deep under his bed, under spare blankets and other shit he keeps under there.

The day he finally has enough to get the board he's had his eye on was the day Neil finally snaps.

Billy doesn't even know what he supposedly did. Neil's yelling when he gets home from mowing the neighbors lawn, yelling about nothing really. Dishes maybe. Billy is trying to get away to stash the last bit of cash and Neil just loses it. Backhands him so hard his ears ring and his eyes water. Neil is still yelling but Billy can't hear anything, Which results in getting slammed into the wall, making his ears ring louder.

Neil leaves him alone to go to work. Billy runs to get all his shit. Stuffs his swim shorts and a tank top into a backpack with all his money and a water bottle. Snags his longboard from the garage and takes off towards the surf shop.

He stays out on the water long after the sun sets and the waves die down. Laying on his back, counting the stars. Missing his mom, hating Neil, making a plan to get out, get out like his mom did.

///

It isn't surprising to see Billy set up camp down at the beach most weekends. To see him on his longboard with a cooler strapped to it and bulky surfboard tucked under an arm. To see him tear through every wave he could get on top of.

The lifeguards know him by name and eventually become pretty good friends with him, letting him snag a few snacks from the employee fridge.

Girls flock to his section of the beach, hoping to talk to him, but his heart belongs to the sea. He flirts, sure, but doesn't see the point in going after anything more.

He gets home thirty minutes before Neil and stashes his beach stuff in the shed. Neil never goes in there anyway. Billy has to mow the lawn and do all the outdoor chores so Neil can get drunk watching tv.

///

Neil's been bringing some lady home. A lot. Mostly awkward dinners, sometimes with her daughter. Billy keeps quiet for the most part, eating whatever is put in front of him, sometimes testing how far he can take it before Neil snaps.

He hopes Neil snaps in front of them, makes them go away.

But he doesn't and they get married.

Which means he has a not-mom and a step-sister to deal with.

Which sucks because they are home all the goddamn time once they move in.

Makes it harder to sneak out.

He still tries, nothing is going to keep him from the water. Nothing.

///

It's just him and Max one day, a few years after the marriage. Neil and Susan had fucked off to God knows where; Billy never bothered to ask.

"I didn't know you could surf," she says quietly, staring into her lap.

Billy just about chokes on the breath he was taking.

"How the fuck-"

"Had to get some tools from the shed for Neil. He never goes out there, huh?"

"Not when he's got his little minions to do everything for him," Billy sighs and flops back into the couch.

"I knew you had a longboard, it's a nice one."

"Yeah...my mom got it for me a long time ago."

"Sorry about your mom, Neil said she died when you were 10?"

Billy has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Of course he said that, easier than the truth I guess.

"Yeah...yeah she did."

///

It's mid summer when Max finally asks. Billy can feel her dancing around it for months.

"Can you show me? How to surf?"

"I don't know, shitbird, think you can handle it?"

"Yeah no doy I can, I'm better at skateboarding than you are, I bet I'll be a better surfer too."

Max cocks an eyebrow.

Billy never was one to pass up a challenge.

"Fine, if, by the end of today, you can ride a wave like I can, I'll buy you a board-"

Max starts grinning, bouncing a little on her feet.

"-but if you can't? You gotta do what I say for a month!"

Max narrows her eyes but smirks and sticks out her hand.

"Deal."

"Get your skateboard."

///

They race down to the beach, Billy with his bag, a cooler, and surfboard; Max with her own swim bag and a head start.

"Fuckin cheat," Billy grumbles, dumping all his stuff on the towel he just threw out. Max sticks her tongue out and starts tying her hair up.

"Okay go get in the water, I'll help you get up--actually, hang on."

Billy digs around his bag for a bit, then jogs over to the surf shop. Max watches him chat with the attendant cheerfully and hands her a couple of bills. She puts those away and looks through the surfboards propped up on the wall. Billy waves as he walks back to Max, board tucked under his arm.

"Okay, here-" He hands the board over a little roughly, knocking the wind out of her. She glares at him and he offers a wicked grin in return. "Let's go, just do whatever I do, okay?"

Max nods and gets out into the water with Billy.

They spend all day in the ocean, Billy teaching her how to balance, how to get back on the board when ("When, not if, dipshit, everyone falls off the board,") she falls off, how to biff it so she doesn't get whacked by the board, when to ignore a wave and when to catch one, all his little tricks.

Luckily the waves aren't too big today. Normally Billy wants the huge waves that curl in on themselves and roar in his ears and race him to shore. But he remembers his first time on a board and knows exactly how scary those big waves can be this early on.

Max sucks at balancing. Not as bad as Billy originally thought, but she's still falling off every six seconds. Billy howls with laughter each time but Max is still grinning, having the time of her life.

Eventually she gets it well enough that Billy takes them out to where the waves start cresting, walking her through how to catch one.

She chickens out the first three times, letting the wave slide under her board and just watches Billy ride it in, showing off by zipping around and crouching into the curl. He paddles back to where Max is and walks her through it one more time.

He tells her that he'll be right there next to her, isn't gonna let anything happen. 

And Billy is a dick, like truely a massive, awful dick. 

But he's being really nice out here, being patient, which is unheard of. It's like this is his home, not the shitty too-small house Neil and her mom picked out, out here in the open air, in the water, on a board. Like he's a bird and the house is his cage. 

Max nods, sets her jaw, and paddles next to Billy, long and deep strokes. He hops up and watches as she hops into a low crouch, knees shaking but she's up.

Billy whoops and pumps his fists yelling, "Yeah, Max!" as they fly through the water. Max laughs at his excitement and revels in the glide of the ocean beneath her, the wave singing in her ears, the wind kissing her face. She gets it, now that she's up on a wave. Gets why Billy loves this so much.

It's like riding her skateboard but so much more powerful. It feels like she's master of the seas, taming a wave to take her home. Billy starts rocking around a little, making little zig-zag trails behind him. Max tries to copy, rocking from the balls of her feet to her heels and immediately tips too far and crashes into the surf.

She surfaces, the tether tugging on her ankle and watches as Billy jumps off the wave. She scrambles awkwardly onto her board and straddles it, sitting out her adrenaline.

Billy paddles over to her and cackles.

"Told'ya everyone falls off. You okay?"

Max rolls her eyes and nods.

"That was good for your first time. Wanna go again?"

"Yeah, duh."

Billy flips her off but holds out his fist to bump knuckles. She bumps her fist to his and they go to meet the next wave.

///

Billy's sixteenth birthday is in a week and Max has no idea what to get him. He got her a surfboard for her birthday in February, keeping it in the shed with his. She almost cried when he took her out to see it after Neil and Susan had gone to bed.

She knows he's saving up for a car, this blue Camaro he moons over every time they skate by it on their way to the beach. Says it was his mom's dream car.

She thought about pitching in with that but Billy has this thing about buying stuff. He hates it when people offer to help out. And it'll feel weird to just hand him the $7.23, like she couldn't think of anything to get him.

She starts a list of stuff she knows he likes a month and a half ago. He has a bunch of books in a crate on the top shelf of his closet so she thought about getting him one of the Stephen King books he doesn't have. Digs through his records and tapes, seeing which ones he doesn't have, which ones he might need new, maybe get one of his mom's albums on tape for when he gets his car. Thinks about getting him a new Walkman since he "lost" his. Maybe a new notebook and pens, he keeps those with his books too.

But he got her a surfboard, a nice one too, with stripes and vibrant colors and a purple tether. It's like their thing now. 

So she hikes out to the shed, while Billy's out mowing lawns or something and Neil and her mom are at work. Heads out to the shed to take inventory.

His longboard is in good shape, trucks still good. He doesn't need a new cooler, the one they normally take is fine and fits on his board between his feet actually really well. He takes really good care of his surfboard, even showed Max how to take care of hers. He doesn't need new wax or new fins. Then it hits her exactly what she should do.

Max had met Billy's friends while they were down at the beach a few times, even had lunch at one of their houses - Marco's. He had a beach house (that's why they'd all gone to his house) and his mom made the best chocolate chip cookies ever. She doesn't have his number but remembers where his house is.

She shoves one of her notebooks into her backpack and grabs her board from her room, bolting out the door. Billy is mowing their neighbor's lawn and she waves at him as she zooms past.

"I'm going to the skate park, be back by dinner!" She yells over her shoulder.

"4:30 shitbird!" he hollers back.

She knocks on the yellow door to Marco's place, rocking on her feet, clutching her skateboard in front of her.

"Hey, Maximilian!" Marco exclaims as he props the screen door open, inviting her in. "What's up, chica?

Max smirks at his overexaggerated spanish.

"Billy's birthday is next week and I thought we could go night surfing with everyone and maybe have, like a bonfire or something? Wanted to see what you thought and you're the only one of his friends I could ask. I don't know where anyone else is or their numbers."

"Oh man, yeah that actually sounds really cool. I'm assuming this is a surprise? I can get everyone together, are we doing this on his actual birthday?" 

Max nods.

"Alright, yeah I can ask around, Jamal and Nick will definitely be free, Miriam might need to sneak out, and Bea might have work. I'm not sure about Benji but I'll ask, sí?"

"Okay! And you guys don't have to worry about presents or anything, he'll be okay just hanging out and freezing his ass off with everyone. But maybe everyone can bring some food? Like just something to share?"

"Hell yeah, I'll get mi mamá to make those cookies you like, ¿de acuerdo?" Marco grins his wide shark grin and Max shoves her double thumbs up into his face.

He laughs and shoves her hands away.

"Are you gonna get him anything?"

"Uh...I was thinking about getting him a thing for his car, a surfboard rack? The Cammy he's looking at doesn't have one."

"Yeah I think he's gonna like that. It's practical, it's for his two great loves; his board and his car. I think he'll like it a lot. I got him a Stephen King, Pet Semetary, does he have that one?"

"Nah, but he's wearing through his copy of Carrie, might try and find him a good paperback at some of the shops downtown."

"Hey me, Miriam, and Benji are going to Alberto's Grocery tomorrow for some science shit Benji's got goin' on, wanna come? You can bring some of your little dork friends if you want?"

"Yeah, I'll ask Jamie or Sará tonight. I gotta go, but thanks for helping! He's gonna be so excited!" Max gathers her stuff up and heads to the door.

Marco holds it open as she swings her bag on.

"How do you say 'see you later'? 'Hah-sta du-eggo'?"

" 'Hasta luego' you don't say the 'h'."

"Okay, hasta luego, Marco!" Max waves behind her and jumps onto her board.

///

"Billy, get up!" Max hisses after she's sure Neil and her mom are asleep.

"th'fuck you wan' Max?" Billy says groggily, propping himself up on his elbows, rubbing at his eyes.

"We're going to the beach, I have your present."

"Max it's-" He squints at the clock by his bed. "-almost midnight, can't you give it to me tomorrow?"

"No, get up and grab your trunks and something warm, we're going surfing."

That wakes Billy right up. Because Billy's been working his ass off lately to get that car so he hasn't had a lot of time to go down to the beach. 

He throws all his stuff together as quietly as possible and meets Max at the shed, grabbing all their boards and making their way through the silent streets of their neighborhood.

They get to the beach and Billy runs into the water, whooping out loud, floating onto his back.

"Billy! What are you doing!" Max yells as she sets up camp.

"What does it look like dipshit," he shouts back while floating on his back.

Marco and everyone else start showing up quietly, setting everything up while Billy revels in the ocean. 

"You should go dunk him," Max tells Marco and Miriam. They share evil grins and run down the beach. The rest of the gang; Benji, Jamal, Nick, Bea, and Max follow slowly after.

Marco and Miriam grab Billy's arms and pull him under. He surfaces, sputtering curses and ready to throw punches until he sees who it was.

"You're an asshole, Marco, both of you are, goddamn." Billy reaches up and tugs Miriam down into a half nelson while kicking at Marco underwater.

Everyone else laughs which made Billy spin around. He grins a really happy looking smile and catches Max's eye as if to ask if this was her idea.

Nick and Bea get the bonfire going while everyone else goes out into the waves. Jamal keeps swiping in front of Billy, knocking him off his board. Miriam is teaching Max how to balance better. Benji defends Billy's honor by jumping from his board onto Jamal, knocking them both into the curl.

It's a clear night, perfect for night surfing. But eventually everyone gets cold and has their fill of surfing and lays out on the beach making up constellations. Marco divvies up all the snacks and throws them into people's laps and faces. Miriam braids Max, Bea, and Benji's hair. Nick and Jamal make s'mores for everyone. It's probably the best day of Billy's life.

"Okay cabrón, we got you presents," Marco says after Billy points out a dick shaped constellation.

"Dammit Max! I told you, you didn't have to worry about any of that, now you got all these fuckers to get me shit?" Billy's grinning anyway. Max punches his shoulder.

Marco got him Pet Semetary and it has sticky notes sticking out of the side marking the spots he thought Billy would like, Nick got him earrings with knives on them, Miriam got him a few albums from the thrift store (a Beatles album as a joke, AC/DC, and Judas Priest), Jamal got him some patches for his jacket, Bea got him a second hand Walkman with stickers on it (both from the previous owner and from Bea because she's just like that), and Benji got him a newer copy of Carrie but he painted the cover to show one of Billy's favorite scenes.

"I hate you guys," Billy chokes out with the heels of his hands pressed into his eyes. Everyone laughs a little and Marco throws a few grapes at him.

"Okay, okay, my turn!" Max interrupts the little family moment.

She digs her present (wrapped very poorly in ribbon) out from under the blanket by the cooler and drops it into Billy's lap.

"I know it's not like, as personal as everyone else's, but I figured you wouldn't want to scratch up the roof of your car every time we went down to surf so this is like… insurance to make sure you actually get the car." Max stares at her feet, wondering why she went last.

"What do you mean 'not as personal', this is for my car! This is so I don't have to get smacked in the back by your board every time we go down to the beach, shithead, c'mere." Billy wraps her in a hug, one of the few they've shared since becoming siblings.

The night goes on pretty much the same. They all go out to surf a few more times, Nick has the brilliant idea to use Marco's mom's cookies for s'mores, and they all fall asleep in a big pile only to wake up to the sun rising a few hours later.

///

Billy gets the Camaro. He's been working his ass off, even got a part time gig at the diner downtown. But he has his car and first thing he does is pick Max up from school with it.

He has Black Sabbath blasting and his sunglasses on the tip of his nose, his grin brighter than the sun.

"So? Whaddya think, Mad Max?"

"It's loud but I like it. I think your mom would have liked it, too."

///

Neil doesn't tell them they're moving. Billy comes home from his two weeks in the hospital (“I fell off my board and got caught up in some coral, Max, leave me alone.”) to the house all packed up and a big truck in their driveway. Says it was for work, but Billy knows damn well it isn't his fucking job.

He watches the ocean shrink in his rearview mirror, wishing he could have said goodbye.

///

If the house back in Cali felt like a cage, Hawkins must feel like a coffin to Billy. The sky is always grey, the trees are thick and feel like walls around the roads, and there's no ocean.

He keeps driving too fast and yelling too loud and bitching about everything and Max is so tired of it. She has bruises on her arm because he couldn't fucking chill. 

But he's getting better, starts calming down a little bit, especially after the whole thing in November when the world went sideways. Not that Billy really knows about all the Upside-Down shit but something happened and he cooled it.

He drives him and Max up to the quarry right before summer starts. They sit on the hood of his car with a tape full of music Billy wouldn't be caught dead listening to playing through the windows.

"I'm sorry I've been such an ass this year." Billy stares out at the lake's feeble attempts at waves, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "You don't deserve that from me. Or from anyone..."

Max can feel his nerves from where she is sitting and figures it's best to stay quiet and let him say his stuff.

"Neil hits me." Billy draws his knees to his chest and rests his chin on them. "And I don't want to blame my shit on that but…I was so mad at you when they got married. So mad because he didn't…he doesn't do anything to you. And he told you and Sue that my mom died but...she just left him...left me with him, because he hit her too. I shouldn't have taken all my shit out on you. I'm sorry. I know it's late but I really am."

Max scoots a little closer to him, lets their shoulders touch. Billy flinches a little.

"Whenever he'd hit me in California, I'd go surfing. Or just lay on my board in the water, thinking about running away. And it worked, took my mind off of it, made me think of my mom. Then you started going with me and that was better."

Led Zeppelin floats out of the car, the song about Cali.

"Pretty sure it's my fault we moved out here," he whispers after a while.

"No… I told Neil you were at the beach, I shouldn't have done that."

"Max." She looks over at him and he sighs. "Don't beat yourself up about that, it's fine. He would have found out anyway. 

"I was at the beach with Marco, just Marco. And we were under the docks, just sitting there. He held my hand right before Neil found us…I didn't go to the hospital because of a surfing accident, he..."

Max bites her lip to try and stop the tears. 

"I'm sorry I blamed you, it wasn't your fault, I should have been more careful, it was my--"

"It was Neil's fault. He put you in the hospital, he moved us out here, don't say it's your fault."

Silence.

Billy clears his throat.

"This is a mixtape my mom made before she left. I thought you'd like it. It's a lot quieter than most of my stuff."

Fleetwood Mac fades into The Beach Boys as Max leans her head onto Billy's shoulder. This is the closest either of them has felt to the ocean in a long time.

///

Seven feet.

Billy remembers his first big wave. Of how the ocean felt beneath him. Of how excited he was to roll into shore like a pro. To gush about it to his mom.

He misses her so much.

He thinks of the last time he ever saw his mom, her white dress and her sandals and the way she'd smiled at him. How proud she was of him.

Pictures her as he drifts off, ignoring the pain in his chest, staring up at Max's crying face, mumbling apologies.

Seven feet.

He thinks of his mom before he dies.

///

Billy wakes up to a cold nose pressed into his neck. He grunts and presses his face further into his pillow, trying to find sleep again.

"Max 'n the oth'r kids're comin' today." Steve rumbles against his throat.

Billy groans and throws an arm over Steve, pulling him closer.

"Not gunna be h're 'til way aft'r lunch, go back t' sleep."

"You said you were gonna teach me how to surf before Max gets here." Steve sounds more awake now, which is a sin because it's-

"It's 5:30 in the morning, yesterday you said anyone who was awake before 9 deserves to burn in hell."

"Okay but this is special circumstances, I don't want to look stupid in front of the kids."

"You won't look stupid, surfing's easy."

"Says the siren."

Billy groans again and flops onto his back, glaring at Steve. Steve just smiles sleepily back before kissing at Billy's collarbones.

"If you're trying to get me out of bed, this isn't a good motivator."

Steve tilts up to bite Billy's earlobe. He curses and pinches Steve's sides.

They eventually get up and get dressed, grab a swim bag, the cooler, and Billy's board strapped to the top of the car. He doesn't have the Camaro anymore and Steve doesn't have the BMW but it doesn't really matter. Max's rack strapped to the top, all their tapes are mixed together in a shoe box, and Billy's necklace hangs from the mirror, glinting in the California sun.

Steve really sucks at staying on the board. Granted, they are sharing one ("It'll be easier this way, trust me.") and the water's a little choppy today but he learns fast enough. Sits on the front of the board while Billy guides them along the wave for the first part, then they switch so Steve can practice before Max and everyone shows up.

They're sitting idle on the board, facing each other, knees bumping when the kids arrive.

"HEY FUCKFACE!" Max yells from shore.

"HEY SHITBIRD!" Billy yells back.

Billy takes them in to have lunch and catch up with the Party.

Susan got Max a car for her graduation present, hence the road trip. Mike got accepted into some college in Colorado. El is going to be a senior next year. Will got an art internship for a studio there in California. Dustin got a full ride to MIT for his winning engineering project. Lucas was going to college to become a sci-fi fiction writer. Billy graduates next semester and Steve still has a year left.

They rent boards for everyone who wants one and Billy watches Max teach all her little nerd friends how to balance and not die while in the water.

///

Steve and Billy find a bigger apartment and, to celebrate, go out for an evening surf. Steve finally has his own board, a birthday present from Billy ("As much as I love having you on my board, I can't show off my skills and impress you further.")

The sun is setting just right when Steve climbs onto Billy's board. He tangles their dangling legs and kisses Billy nice and sweet, out in the middle of the ocean. He sets a box down in between them as he pulls away.

"Fuck, Steve."

"I know, it's not like, technically legal, but I really want to call you my husband so I'm asking you if I can do that."

Billy pops the box open to find a simple gold band with three little connected dots engraved into it.

"You said Orion's Belt is your favorite constellation because that's where his dick would be and I thought 'hey no better way to piss off the government than to have a dick on your ring' but I didn't want to put an actual dick on it, the guy at the ring place was already giving me weird looks and--"

Billy leans in to kiss Steve silent, smiling too much for it to be a good and proper kiss. Steve melts into it, smiling too much too.

"Yeah I'll marry you, pretty boy."

Steve smiles brighter than the sun and pulls Billy in for another kiss.


End file.
